PS-- We used to believe that once a "bad" state fills the body, that that is your "reality," your truth, and off we go looking for additional reasons to support it mentally (instead of changing the state). But it is only a feeling, an experience that is always changing. You will not always feel bad, even though the outside circumstances may persist. (That lover does not come back, but the "bad" feeling changes anyway). Right there is proof that it has nothing to do with the outside. Instead of believing, accepting that bad feeling as your reality, choose the reality you want by choosing the state you want.

Your present state will dictate the next moment. If you take this to heart, it is *very* powerful.

This is a very recent new "learning" of mine.

Say someone tells you that you wrecked the evening. How might "old mind" react? Get defensive, give opposite proof, reasons, maybe get angry? In the next moment, this could blow-up and become really ugly.
All of this means you have accepted the other's reality, the other's experience as your truth; you are feeling like you wrecked the trip. That was their created reality. It does not have to become yours.

What if you sat there with absolutely no resonance, no connection with this thought, what if you gave it no substance, no reality? What you created and how someone else feels are entirely separate. What if instead you felt you created a good evening? How would you be? What would you do? Sitting there, feeling good about the evening yourself, you might notice the suffering of the other person (every "attack" is a call for help), and as separate. You might feel compassion for their experience. Stay in that state, even in silence, as long as you need to until you know what to say. Access to intelligence, to wisdom, will come.

I wonder, from that state, how different that will be from "old mind" reactivity. Wonder, from that state, how different the next moment will be....for you both....

And..

What if, every day, you knew you were creating the next moment with your state this moment....

So, how important is your state?


PSS-- Oh the mirror! When you accuse someone of wrecking the evening, whatever you have done to feel this way is what has wrecked your evening.
Now, in blind suffering, you may be about to do something to (consciously or unconsciously) to try to wreck theirs--good thing only they can do that.