-- Reader:

Is it strange to ask for something for someone else?

I was surprised by something you said and wrote in your book (I read it the very next day)...When asking the first question: "What do I want?", it seems strange to me to ask something on behalf of someone else. For example, a mother asking that her daughter finds happiness. Wouldn't it be better for the mother to ask for acceptance of whatever her daughter is going through or guidance for herself regarding her daughter's dilemma?

-- Cindy:

Ultimately, you are not asking "for" something and you are not asking for something for someone else. You are asking yourself what you want in the moment.

*Whatever* you want is right. It may start as an object, or a desired situation or event, but it will ultimately be some feeling. We always want a feeling, and the second question (How does it feel?) will discover what it is.

In the example above, the mother was stressed herself, thinking about her stressed daughter. When the mother herself is stressed, she cannot "be there" in the most resourceful way for her daughter. It's not that those resources don't exist within her, it's that she cannot get in touch with them in that limited, suffering state.

So, when a daughter finds happiness, the mother will be happy --that is the old FALSE belief: "I need something outside me to be happy, to be the best I can be," and it is a giving away of our power; our power to experience what we want to (for everyone that is to feel something positive, good), and our power to be the best we can be.

It *appears* she wanted something for someone else, but it is really for herself. Ultimately.

When she has it, when she gives it to herself first THEN she can give it to someone else, which is the neat "fruit" of this practice.

You can't give what you don't have. Be the peace and happiness, and that can then be passed-on to the daughter.

You are more likely to manifest what you want "out there" when you manifest it "in here" first.

Nothing you want to have, nothing you give yourself, is wrong...drop the doubts/judgments (all thoughts) and just go into the feeling of what you want, reach for a better feeling.

-- Reader:

As you know, internal self-criticism is my biggest challenge right now...Let's say that I am meeting a new group of people and am unsure of myself (will they like me, will I like them, will we have something to talk about, will they think I'm *fill in the blank*...). When facing this situation, my inner dialogue gets pretty loud and ugly so when I’m asking myself the first question (What do I want?), I wonder if I should ask that the people like me or (to me, this sounds like a better idea), I should ask that I feel comfortable with who I am (shy, reserved, awkward...)??? What do you think?

-- Cindy:

Why limit yourself? You can have it all!!!

I think you should take the first answer and go with it. And then, when you have that, ask it again, and go with the next. And do it again, and again... until you are feeling how you want to feel, and the vastness of true intelligence and useful, supportive thoughts will come to you.

Every time you don't feel good... ask... and ask ..and ask...yourself... and give, and give, and give, until you feel good.

You will then find your inner dialogue becomes supportive of you. Oh, and a little specification: you are not asking for something (as in from something or someone outside of you), you are asking yourself what it is you want, so that you can give it, experience it.

-- Reader:

Hope you are well and beaming,

-- Cindy:
Extra beaming now!!!

Much love, joy, and peace to you,
Cindy