I had a recent visit with a family member I have not seen in many years. The visit had the possibility of being very healing for both of us. It was a train wreck.
A few red flags had gone up in our emails before her visit. I appreciate that I pay attention to those things and yet do not become hyper-vigilant. Her plan was to stay for 5 days. By day 2 I was soul weary from her loud, non stop victim routine.
After she had completely insulted every one that came into my home to see her (other family members) I had to let her know this could not continue. I reassured her I understood why she was doing what she was doing, but that she was in my home by invitation and I cherish relationships that had been established.
( I had been estranged from family for many years, my choice)
Will not go into all the "bad and wrong" things that happened, but would like to share the positive that came from it all.
You and I started our conversations about "letting go and letting God". There were many situations where I was able to reflect back and see how much "letting go" I had done thru the years. The abuse as a child has become a frame of reference, I have let go all the blaming and using this as any excuse to continue to be a victim. I have forgiven the abusers. They no longer control me, many years after the fact.
I have forgiven one family member in particular that had brought about a lot of harm by choices she made in regard to me. I had forgiven her, wahoo. End of self-torment......
To sum it up, God gave me a situation where I could see the past as a frame of reference with no feelings attached. My heart is sad for this family member, but I am not invested in the outcome. That is up to her if she took any tools home with her to change her life. It is her misery and no one is asking her to give it up.
The most wonderful thing is being able to look back and see how "letting go" became much easier and simpler as I began to see how when I surrendered my self will, that God would tend to my life and guide me down a different path, my life has become this awesome journey of love and forgiveness, momentary loss of direction, and yet still moving forward. I don't have to be perfect, I only have to be aware....
So anyone who thinks "letting go and letting God" does not work, I encourage them to give it a try. There is nothing to loose but the burden of self will.
Letting go is very simple, it can take many forms. I simply say "I can not do this, I need your help. Open my eyes, ears and heart to a better way".
Thank you Gleb, for letting me share my wonderful experience with you.
Hope you have had a good week, learned new and wonder filled things about yourself and the universe we live in.
Thank you,
Linda

It can't have been easyto take responsibility!

Alexis